PORN DIRECTOR DENIES USE OF PERFORMANCE ENHANCING DRUGS

Los Angeles, February 18, 2008. (AP). Noted porn director, Martin Scores-Easy, denied today that his actors use performance enhancing drugs, such as HGH or hardness/ growth hormone, referring reporters to his attorney, Johnny Cock Ring.
Scores-Easy then took the opportunity to plug his new film about unprotected sex, Bareback Mountain, starring Peter O. Tool.

Scores-Easy has been a porn mainstay since his ground-breaking debut, The Godfather’s Parts, I, II, and III. Although many critics thought III was somewhat limp, they praised its thought-provoking treatment of olive oil as a sexual lubricant. Scores-Easy followed quickly with Dick Tracer, a private eye played by Warren Beatoff, and the mega-hits Doggie Day Afternoon, Malice: A Foreskin, and A Pack O’ Lips, NOW!!

After a long slump of several years duration, Scores-Easy made it back to the top with a series of hits beginning with the scatology fetish hit, Fecal Attraction, and Schlong Days: Journey into Night. He plans to follow up with a movie based on the hit musical Urine Town. After that Scores-Easy is considering a film about cops who force witnesses to reveal their private parts, tentatively called Base, Sick Instinct.

In related news, Congress unanimously denied that’s its investigations into cheating in baseball, football, and American Idol, were a waste of its time to distract voters.