BUSH VETOES BILL TO OUTLAW WATERBOARDING

Washington March 8, 2008 (AP). President Bush today vetoed legislation to bar waterboarding by the CIA and explaned his action in the following statement.

”My fellow Americans. The Democrat Congress has sent me legislation that violates the fundamental fairness of our people. Waterboarding is an innocent pastime, a sport enjoyed for generations by tanned young people in California who put on their doggers and catch the gnarly waves, hang ten, and shoot the curls.

As the poet wrote,

If everybody had an ocean

Across the U.S.A.

Then everybody’d be waterboardin’

Like Californ-I-A.

And now the Democrat Congress wants to outlaw this innocent sport. They are nothing but dweebs and hodaddies. Cowabunga, dudes. Waterboard on!”