HAIR FROM MISSING PLANE. A headline in the New York Times this morning says, “Rescuers Say Hair May Come From Missing Indonesian Plane.” Investigators are now looking for a Boeing 737 with a bald spot.
SADDAM’S HALF BROTHER LOSES HEAD. The hanging today of Barzan Ibrahim al-Tikriti, half brother of former Iraqi president Saddam Hussein resulted in the accidental severing of Tikriti’s head from his body. American officials immediately examined his body cavity for weapons of mass destruction. An autopsy performed by the Oklahoma Medical Examiner’s office declared the cause of death to be “a single gunshot to the heart, or maybe poison,” and found DNA belonging to Jon Benet Ramsey’s father.
IRAQ JUST SAYS NO. “The New Way Forward,” President Bush’s plan to win the Iraq war conflict insurrection insurgency civil war terrorist senior prom big-to-do faces opposition from the Iraqi government. An American official in Baghdad described the Iraqi government as “part of the problem.” President Bush said, “how can we set up a democratic state in Iraq if the government won’t do what we tell them?”
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