August 18, 2009 (AP). The Reader’s Digest Association announced on Monday that it would file for prearranged Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection for its United States businesses within 30 days. Mary Berner, chief executive officer for the last two years, will continue to run the company. From a news story today in the New York Times.
The company released this statement on behalf of its CEO.
“It seems like only a couple of years ago that on a bright sunny morning, cloudless and balmy, I drove northward on the east bank of the Hudson River to Pleasantville and my new job leading Readers Digest. I turned on the radio, hummed along with the latest pop tunes by Doris Day, Nat King Cole, and Perry Como, and tapped my long, crimson nails on the plastic steering wheel of my two-tone India Ivory and Larkspur Blue Bel Air. My mood matched the day as my high heeled pumps held the Chevy to a safe and sane 45 miles per hour.
Imagine my chagrin when I entered my new office and, in spite of the lovely view of the “Life in These United States” tulip garden and the river, I found the walls painted a perfectly awful shade of chartreuse. But my mother always taught me to see the positive side and not look to others to solve my problems, so I took my new corporate credit card and went to the hardware store in town where I picked up a ladder, some brushes and four or five cans of Larkspur Blue enamel.
Imagine my chagrin as I discovered upon my return that my new assistant was my ex-husband’s mistress, the floozy that broke up my once perfect marriage and forced me back to the work force. Still following my mother’s teachings, I gave her the choice of quitting or being run through with a sharpened letter opener.
Imagine my chagrin when she huffed out without quitting and, as I soon learned, flounced right over to HR where she accused me of horrible things. But I overcame. Soon, I had repainted the walls, settled the floozy’s law suit, and began the work of making Reader’s Digest once again America’s greatest source of meaningless fluff.
Imagine my chagrin when I found out the company was broke and would have to go bankrupt. Mama! I need help!"
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