MITT: R.I.P. ETCH-A-SKETCH

November 1, 2012(AP). Today’s Times says, “In Dwindling Days of the Race, Romney Takes a Softer Tack.” A G.O.P. operative, identified only as “disgusted in America,” said Romney was jealous of the attention Chris Christie got for praising the President’s work with hurricane damage. But, in a tragic sequel, burdened with overwork, the famous Etch-A-Sketch shattered into a million pieces.

As The Reverend Jesse Jackson said, “It’s a sign from heaven: Romney will no longer shake, rattle, or roll that infamous toy, no longer flip, flop, or fly, no longer swivel, be uncivil, or speak drivel, no longer be white in Grosse Pointe and black in Harlem, or love Nascar in Brooklyn, Michigan and bagels in Brooklyn, New York, or be a Wolverine in Ann Arbor, a Buckeye in Columbus, and a Nittany Lion in Winter. . .” Then, Jackson broke down in tears at the beauty of his own rhetoric.

But he recovered just long enough to say, “my humble speech would be praised by Lincoln at Gettysburg, Churchill in London, and Cicero of Illinois.