WHITE HOUSE ANNOUNCES PRESIDENT’S CONVERSION TO CATHOLICISM. A White House spokesman told reporters in a hastily convened briefing that President Obama has converted to Catholicism for the express purpose of confessing his sin in bullying House Republicans to force approval of a temporary two-month extension of the payroll tax holiday. He showed a video taken inside a confessional where a tearful Obama confessed that not only had he bullied his congressional adversaries but that it felt good, which made him feel even guiltier. The priest told him to say five hail-Marys and “give him hell, Barry!”
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